Broken Pieces
by steph84
Summary: Remus Lupin has loved Kira Garrett for so long. When she joins the Order, he has to decide whether or not to make a second move. If he doesn't will Sirius make that move?
1. Default Chapter

It had been so long since he heard her voice that he almost didn't recognize it...wait, who was he kidding? Of course he recognized the soft tone that whispered to him during his long nights of transformation. The gentle soul that accompanied it followed by the sweet words of comfort and consolation. Maybe it was just too good to be true; he didn't want to believe it in case it wasn't real.

Sure enough, he peeked around the kitchen doorway of Grimmauld Place and was startled to see Kira's smiling face shining brightly. Her eyes were as brilliant as ever and her hair looked softer than he had ever seen it before. He hovered for a moment, not sure how to address the situation. It had been fourteen years—fourteen long years since he had seen Kira Garrett on the curb of Godric's Hollow, crying softly. They had both lost something important to them that night: their friends and their very own relationship. It was at that point that Kira had looked up and broke Remus Lupin's heart.

"I don't ever want to get married," she said, tears streaking down her face. "I don't want to get married, I don't want to have kids and I don't want to wind up like James and Lily!"

"Kira...be reasonable."

"I am." She stood up stoutly and disappeared into the night. He had heard things about her from people but nothing ever compared to the truth. And yet, here she was, sitting a mere few feet away from him and he couldn't bring himself to enter the room.

Molly Weasley was the first one to notice him. "Remus, do come in," she urged, waving him into the kitchen.

It was as if time had frozen; Kira looked up slowly, her dazzling blue eyes taking on a dull view, as she peered at him from underneath her bangs. Was it just his imagination or did her eyes betray the regret she might possibly have been really feeling? "Hi," she said and her voice was as sweet as any other time she had ever spoken to him.

"Hi," he replied, noting that Molly was beaming widely as though she had just single-handedly created the world's greatest reunion between two lovers. "How are you?"

"Good," she answered quickly—perhaps too quickly. "Well, okay considering the circumstances. Yourself?"

What could he say? He was doing great, considering the fact that Voldemort was on the loose and after Lily and James' only son and it was up to Remus and the rest of the Order of the Phoenix to protect him. "Good," he finally answered.

"Kira's joining us in the Order," Molly said proudly. "She's been kind enough to lend a hand to her fellow man." There was a hint of sarcasm in Molly's voice but her eyes radiated happiness. She had been very fond of Kira when they first met many years ago. "I, for one, am glad she's here."

"Have you seen Sirius yet?" Remus asked. There was only himself, Kira, Molly and Arthur Weasley in the kitchen at the moment and judging by the fact that Kira still had her hat on, it looked as though she had just arrived.

"I just got here," Kira confirmed, taking off her hat and smiling at Arthur, who moved to take it for her. "I decided to come here early in the summer to get a good grip on what I'm getting myself into."

Early in the summer? It was almost August! But Remus didn't argue with her; that was one of his favorite things about her. "So you haven't met Harry yet?"

Kira's eyes went soft. "No. But I can't wait. Molly says he's absolutely delightful."

"He is." Remus reflected on how much Harry reminded him of James and wondered if he would have the same effect on Kira. He knew it would bring heartache to her, just like it did to him, but she hadn't seen Harry since that fateful night and he could sense she was anxious. "He's with Hermione, Ron and Tonks right now. And I think Sirius is there too. They'll be back shortly. He arrived only a few days ago himself."

Kira beamed. "I can hardly wait."

"Well!" Molly clapped her hands together. "There's much to be done. Let's get you settled in upstairs, Kira, and then we'll talk." She put her hand on Kira's back and guided her past Remus into the hallway and up the staircase. Remus watched her and collapsed into the nearest chair.

Arthur was grinning from across the table. "Nothing like first love, eh?"

"You can say that again." Remus leaned forward. "No one told me she was going to be here."

Arthur raised his hands in mock surrender. "I didn't know myself, to be honest. Molly told me this morning that Kira was coming to stay. I was going to tell you but I haven't had a chance to talk with you until now."

Remus waved the topic of conversation away; he wasn't blaming Arthur for anything. He just wished he had better time to prepare. The fact that Kira still sent his heart into orbit didn't help matter. He couldn't forget the feel of her soft lips on his cheek when he awoke after transforming. His mind kept traveling back to the night that he told her he was a werewolf. They were in the Shrieking Shack, having snuck out after hours, and often talked long into the night.

"I'm different from the other guys," he had told her.

"Of course you are," she said, beaming at him and brushing a lock of hair off his face. "That's what I like about you."

"No, Kira; I mean really different."

She had sat back as though he was radiating severe heat. "How so?"

He had taken a deep breath. "I'm a werewolf." There. It was out in the open and there would be no more playing around. He felt better, slightly, but waiting with anticipation for her reaction.

She paused for a moment before leaning towards him and resting her head on his chest. "I can hear your heart beat," she had told him. "And that's all that matters to me."

His eyes came back into focus and he saw Arthur scrutinizing him carefully. "This isn't going to be too hard for you, is it?"

"_I can hear your heart beat. And that's all that matters to me."_

"No; no trouble at all."

"How's it feel to see Remus again?" Molly folded one of Kira's sweaters and put it in the dresser drawer that was open.

"He's still cute," Kira answered slowly, sitting on the bed and looking thoughtful. She hated leaving Remus the way she had fourteen years ago. It killed her inside to see the pain in his eyes. Yet, she knew it was necessary. James and Lily's death had caused too much pain for her and she couldn't risk getting close to anyone again, for fear of losing them. Yes, Voldemort had just been conquered—but for how long?

Memories of her time with Remus at Hogwarts flooded her brain, making it hard to understand current thoughts and emotions. She was weighted down with murmurs of love they had once shared and the promises and vows they made to one another. So what if they were only seventeen? He meant the world to her. He was so nervous to tell her that he was a werewolf. She had to admit; it made her nervous at first but she talked some sense into herself and made her mind realize that this was still the same boy she had fallen in love with in the beginning; nothing could change that.

"I only hope this won't be too hard on either of you," Molly sighed, arranging the closet to find room for all of Kira's belongings.

"_No matter what, Kira; you'll always be my girl. I'll love you forever."_

"It won't be a problem," Kira assured Molly.


	2. Guess Who?

Remus heard the front door open and his heart leapt. Sirius would be absolutely thrilled to see their old friend and Kira was another link to Lily and James for Harry. He rose and met them in the hallway where Sirius was in the process of changing from Snuffles, the big black dog, to his own shaggy self. "Damn fleas," he muttered, brushing himself off.

"Sirius." Remus was eager to tell him who was under the same roof as them and he urged Sirius along until they were alone in the sitting room. "Guess who's upstairs."

"Santa?" Sirius' eyes lit up with a child's delight. "Oh boy! Can I sit on his lap?" His face changed and he gave Remus a withering look. "We're older now, Remus; the 'guess what' game isn't fun anymore."

"Fine," Remus said, raising his hands. "I guess you don't want to know that Kira Garrett is upstairs..."

Sirius paused in the doorway and turned slowly. "Kira?" he asked. "What's she doing here?"

Remus breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. You don't know any more than I do."

Sirius gave him a sharp look. "What are you talking about?"

Remus launched into the story about Kira joining the Order and watched as Sirius' face grew darker. It was obvious he was remembering when Kira and Remus first began dating in fifth year and how Remus became so involved with Kira he began drifting from his friends. Always having been close, Sirius grew angrier by the day, convinced that Kira was stealing his best friend away. It wasn't until the end of sixth year that Sirius finally grew to accept Kira as part of the gang and not just Lily's intruding friend.

"She's got to meet Harry," Sirius said, moving towards the door. "Harry, come here!"

"No," Remus spoke up. "Well, not yet. She's going to need time to adapt to the fact that Harry looks so much like his father."

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"Yes, but it's also a shock; remember how we first felt?"

Sirius' eyes grew dark. "Of course I remember; how could I forget? It was as if James had risen from the grave."

"What?" Harry had appeared in the doorway and was looking rather ragged from their trip to Diagon Alley. "You called me?"

Sirius put a hand on his godson's shoulder and stared at him for the briefest of seconds. "Get ready for dinner," he finally said. Harry gave him a funny look but hurried off anyway. "They'll meet at the right time," he said, brushing the subject away like a pesky fly.

Molly had cooked quite the feast for supper and pretty soon everyone was sitting down, inhaling the great scents; everyone except for Kira and Hermione. Kira would be sharing a room with Hermione for the time being while Ginny shared with Tonks and Remus was certain Hermione was bombarding Kira with a million and one questions. When he heard their footsteps on the staircase, he noticed that every pair of eyes swiveled towards the doorway along with his. "This is such an incredible house," Kira said, entering the kitchen. She paused when she saw Sirius seated at the head of the table. "And it figures it would be yours," she finished before breaking into a huge smile.

All ill feelings were forgotten as Sirius rose and rushed to swing Kira around in his arms. "You look good," he told her when he had set her down.

"Thanks," she said. "You look...interesting."

He laughed. "You're not the first to say so."

Kira's eyes traveled the table until they came to rest on Harry's puzzled face. She looked as though she were going to cry for a moment before snapping her fingers and grinning. "No mistake," she said, going over to him. "None, whatsoever." Harry rose to eye-level with her and she held him close to her for several moments. "You definitely look like your father," she said when they broke apart.

"Except for my eyes," Harry quoted. "I have my mother's eyes."

Kira laughed aloud. "Yes, you have your mother's eyes," she repeated softly, gazing at him in soft wonder.

Dinner was exquisite, as usual, and it ended all too soon. Kira was entertaining the table with stories of their years at Hogwarts, only to be interrupted by Sirius' loud barks of laughter. "That was the greatest!" he cheered all through the meal. By the end, hardly Remus, Sirius or Kira had touched their food. It seemed like old times again, sitting around laughing, with the exception of the absence of Lily, James and Peter. It wasn't lost on any of them.

Remus debated throughout most of the night if he should talk to Kira about the feelings he was still experiencing for her. It wouldn't be easy living under the same roof as her, day in and day out, knowing that his heart truly belonged with her and not being able to express it in the necessary ways. He watched as Sirius and Kira took a seat together in the sitting room after helping Molly clear the table and listened to their jumping conversation.

"Remember when McGonagall caught us..."

"And when Hagrid found that..."

"And when Lily decided to..."

"And James was so mad..."

It went on well into the night, even after the rest of the household gang had gathered in the sitting room with them. Harry sat, entranced, listening to tidbits of the half-spoken sentences that were arising about his parents while Molly and Arthur reminisced about the last time they had seen Kira. Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Fred, George, and Tonks were laughing hysterically at Sirius' one story about James sneaking out of the Gryffindor tower through the highest window and getting snagged on a ledge. The only one that remained silent was Remus, his mind full of heavy thoughts and slight doubts.

"Well, I'm off," Kira said shortly before midnight. She rose from the sofa and stretched, her arms pointing towards the ceiling. "I'll keep an eye out for Kreacher," she said rather loudly, winking at Sirius. The small, shadowy figure lurking in the doorway vanished quickly. "Goodnight, all."

This was his chance. He watched her walk to the staircase and tried to make his legs move to follow her. He couldn't do it. They wouldn't budge. At first he thought someone had put a binding curse on him but the realization soon set in that it was old-fashioned nerves. Suddenly he felt like an awkward thirteen-year old boy getting up his nerve to ask out the girl he's liked for so long. He waited and waited and waited until all the others had left for the night and he was sitting in the dark, kicking himself for being so procrastinating.


End file.
